


CHUCK VS. THE MONKEY PANTS

by shoetingstar



Category: Chuck (TV)
Genre: Asian Character(s), Asian-American Character, F/M, Interracial Relationship, Nerdiness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-03
Updated: 2015-06-03
Packaged: 2018-04-02 15:46:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,316
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4065589
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shoetingstar/pseuds/shoetingstar
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This may be the only Chuck/Anna pairing on here!: Anna loves Morgan but he's not the most attentive boyfriend. While Chuck is being his nice, sweet self, triggering some not-so-loyal feelings within her. Can she resist the temptation? Would Chuck even go there? What's going on with him & Sarah anyway? Anna's curiosity is just too strong...And hijinks ensue.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> Author's Note: This is my first Chuck story. It's one of my all-time favorite shows and I adore Zachary Levi. This is an Anna POV story. I really like Anna's character and felt she had such potential. Yes, I love Chuck and Sarah but I'm a chronic multi-shipper. I wondered what a Chuck and Anna pairing would look like. I'm very surprised no one else has thought about this pairing (?) The whole gang is there and there's some twists and turns and action and a healthy dose of naughtiness and stuff. So… Introducing Channa (Wutowski?)
> 
> The Timeline is just after the Season One Finale.
> 
> Of course, any reviews/feedback/marriage proposals/spy-mission offers are greatly appreciated…

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This may be the only Chuck/Anna pairing on here!: Anna loves Morgan but he's not the most attentive boyfriend. While Chuck is being his nice, sweet self, triggering some not-so-loyal feelings within her. Can she resist the temptation? Would Chuck even go there? What's going on with him & Sarah anyway? Anna's curiosity is just too strong...And hijinks ensue.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author’s Note: This is my first Chuck story. It’s one of my all-time favorite shows and I adore Zachary Levi. This is an Anna POV story. I really like Anna’s character and felt she had such potential. Yes, I love Chuck and Sarah but I’m a chronic multi-shipper. I wondered what a Chuck and Anna pairing would look like. I’m very surprised no one else has thought about this pairing (??) The whole gang is there and there’s some twists and turns and action and a healthy dose of naughtiness and stuff. So… Introducing Channa (Wutowski?)  
> The Timeline is just after the Season One Finale.  
> Of course, any reviews/feedback/marriage proposals/spy-mission offers are greatly appreciated…

How strange it is, to be having this conversation. This is a man I used to be in love with not too long ago. I normally didn’t talk to Morgan outside of work-related situations. So he had been surprised when I called him last night. Even after what he had put me through, I could still see why I liked him in the first place. He had that man-boy quality that had set off my nurturing instincts. He was funny and adventurous. But the excitement ended almost as fast as it had started.

I asked him to meet me and, over an extra-large sausage and pepperoni with extra cheese, we talked.  
“So I wanted to tell you that you were right about the whole Chuck thing. What happened between us shouldn’t change how I treat him,” I told him.  
“So you agree with me? I stand by what I said,” he gloated, shoving a piece of pepperoni into his mouth.  
“I’ve been getting to know him more and I really like him. I mean how could I not with you two being so much alike? You know, tall—, uh, cool, dark and handsome,” I say as sweetly as I can manage. I am trying to catch a fly with my honey.  
“I knew it!” He practically shouts and points a finger at me. “You miss me don’t you? It’s so obvious.”  
Unbelievable. It takes a lot of my self-control to not shake him.  
“Maybe. Whatever you think about me, I really cared about you.”  
His head drops and he looks like a lost kid. I suddenly feel a little sorry for him. “Anna, I actually regret what I did to be honest with you,” he says.  
“Well, you can make it up to me. If you really mean that.”  
“Of course, I mean it. I feel awful about the whole thing. So what do you want me to do?”

****  
A FEW MONTHS EARLIER

“Anna.”  
“Casey.”  
“First of all, I have to say thank you again,” Chuck said to me. “I mean, how cool was it when you...How did you know...”  
“Just tell us everything you know,” Casey demanded.  
I was surrounded by the darkness of the home theater room with Casey and Chuck standing over me like two giants in good cop/bad cop mode. I felt like I had entered a Law and Order episode.  
I deliberately spoke slowly, “Like I told Chuck, I was driving home when I realized that I didn’t have my cellphone. I came back to the store because I figured it was in my locker. When I was walking toward the building I saw Chuck and that guy. When I realized that the guy was choking Chuck I hit the guy with my umbrella. That’s pretty much it.”  
Casey looked at my petite frame and didn’t seem totally convinced.  
“Actually, I have seen him before,” I continued. “I’ve been calling him Weird Hat Guy.”  
“Now we’re getting somewhere,” Casey said.  
“Where did you see him?” Chuck asked.  
“I noticed him because he wore the same kind of hat my ex used to wear. And anyone who shares the same fashion sense as my ex deserves to be put under suspicion. If I ever see him again he might get an umbrella to the knees and to his b—.”  
“Where did you see him?” Casey said impatiently.  
“Here. He’s been coming into the store every day this week.”  
“So you know what he looks like? Did you ever talk to him? Did you hear anything that might help us?” Casey asked.  
“No – I wasn’t going to talk to that freak. And tonight everything happened so fast...”  
“Okay, I think we’re done here. She’s told us all that she knows,” Chuck said to Casey.  
“It would be good if we could wrap this up. I have a very romantic dinner with Morgan planned tonight,” I said as I stood up. “Are you okay?” I asked Chuck.  
“I’m good. I’m fine.”  
“One more thing,” Casey said. “Tell me how you took him down, again.”  
I told him in detail how I hit the back of Weird Hat Guy’s knees with my umbrella and then whacked him on the head, a few times, when he hit the ground.  
“I’m small but very powerful,” I concluded.  
“Indeed. Pretty impressive,” Casey said.  
I took a bow. “You’re just lucky it rained today,” I told Chuck before the police came in and I had to repeat my story again.

****  
Chuck’s groggy voice answered the phone. I must have woken him up, even though it was only 9pm—on a Friday.  
“Hey, Chuck. I’m sorry to wake you. I was actually looking for Morgan?”  
“Morgan?” He said, roaring a big yawn into my ear. “Who is this?”  
“It’s Anna. Just how many girls are calling there for him?”  
“Anna! No, no other girls...just you. Only you. His one and only. Sorry, I fell asleep after work...” I heard movement and what I swore was Morgan’s voice whispering in the background.  
“...He’s not here.”  
“Really?”  
“He’s not here right now.”  
I was feeling anxious. The romantic night I had planned had failed. Morgan had cancelled on me, after already being two hours late. Usually I could count on seeing him at work, but I had taken a few days off. And he hadn’t returned my calls. So I called the one person who would definitely know where to find him¬¬¬¬—Chuck.  
“Look, when he comes back can you tell him to call me? Tell him if he doesn’t, there will be consequences. Like no more Lucy Liu role-playing games. And I really mean it this time.”  
“Lucy Liu, huh? Are we talking Charlie’s Angels or Payback?” Chuck babbled on in that rapid-fire way he does when he’s nervous and/or hiding something from his best friend’s girlfriend. “I’m partial to Ally McBeal Lucy Liu myself. Not that I’ve ever seen an episode of Ally McBeal...And I probably shouldn’t be having this conversation with you.”  
“Well, anyway. Thanks. Could you just have Morgan call me, please?”  
My efforts had been in vain since Morgan never called and never showed up for dinner. Why exactly was I chasing after this idiot? Love so truly sucks.

****  
That night I had the weirdest dream. I walk into the store and customers start pointing at me and whispering. Then suddenly I’m aware that I’m just in my underwear. It was the classic “I showed up for work in my underwear” dream. Suddenly, I’m totally naked. I spot Lester and Jeff recording the whole thing and I’m on all the television screens around the store. I try to run for cover behind the Nerd Herd desk. But I have company. Chuck was there, sitting on the floor and wearing a cop uniform. He asks me: “What about Bob?” and before I could say anything he pulls me in and starts kissing me. A slow, sensual, scorching hot kiss that makes me forget the chaos around us. When I open my eyes we are sitting on a table in a grassy field with a white birthday cake between us a la the movie Sixteen Candles. I am now wearing a Dodgers uniform and Chuck is wearing a kilt, and he’s shirtless. Then Morgan appears out of nowhere with a bullhorn and starts directing us like we’re on a movie set. Chuck hands me a plate with a slice of the cake on it. Then we proceed to do things with that cake that I’m sure Samantha and Jake Ryan would have never thought of.  
When I woke up I had to convince myself that I hadn’t had a night of good sex with Chuck. While Morgan watched. It seemed that real. The hell? I didn’t know what the dream was about. But it did make me want cake, oddly enough.

TO BE CONTINUED…

DISCLAIMER: Regarding the NBC/Warner Bros. television show CHUCK. I DO NOT OWN CHUCK or its characters. This story was written for entertainment purposes only and with the creative affection of a fan. No profit was made from this work. No copyright infringement intended.  
©2015 This is an original work of Shoetingstar (this author's pen name). All Rights Reserved. This story may not be reproduced in any manner, without the express permission of the author. Reblogging is welcome! Reposting is not! Contact me@shoetingstarr211@gmail.com.


	2. CHAPTER TWO

Chuck was completely caught off guard when I showed up at his house, which is exactly what I wanted.  
“So Chuck, where is he?”  
“Where is who?”  
“Come on,” I said with determination. “Don’t try to cover for him. I know he’s here.”  
“Big Mike called Morgan into the Buy More early. He’s probably there by now. You brought a cake?”  
“It’s our three-month anniversary,” I said. I suddenly felt silly holding the cake box.  
“Well, congrats to you crazy kids. I’m sure Morgan will devour it. And you’re looking good,” he said. I wore a short khaki-colored shirtdress with red wedge heels.  
“Thanks,” I replied, but my eyes began to burn. I couldn’t believe I was about to cry. Chuck grabbed the stupid cake before it crashed to the floor. Then he began to gently pat my head.  
“I’m not a dog,” I said sarcastically, wiping my eyes.  
“Sorry. Why don’t you have a seat?” he asked.  
“Is there another girl?”  
“Huh?” Here?”  
“No. With Morgan. Is he blowing me off for another girl?”  
“I don’t think you have anything to worry about. I’m sure you guys will work it out,” he reassured me.  
He looked like he had just gotten out of bed. His hair was extra scruffy. He was wearing a gray ARMY t-shirt and black sweatpants. I nearly giggled at his white socks and black slippers. There was a hint of dark stubble on his face.  
It had been the first time I’d been alone with him. I guess Chuck was technically the other man in my life. If you are dating Morgan or Chuck, you had to take them both. They were a package deal.  
He was still holding the cake in his hands. This is the moment when my mind chose to flashback to the dream I had the night before. The one where Chuck and I made sweet, dirty love. I started remembering what those hands did to me in my dream world. I was suddenly very aware of his leg against mine. I felt a strong urge to run my fingers through his hair.  
Hello! Earth to Anna!  
I made some space between us by reaching for a tissue from a box on the coffee table.  
I turned back to him. “You’re a good friend. Morgan told me about finding that ring and thinking that you were going to propose to Sarah. He was not happy, at all. How do you deal with that?”  
His answer came quick. “Morgan is a good guy. He has to put up with my crap too, you know. Nobody’s perfect.”  
“You know, actually...” I stopped, realizing that I was about to say more than I should. He was hanging on my every word, waiting for me to finish my sentence.  
I stood up to go. “Hey. You can keep the cake. Give it to Ellie and Awesome for their engagement or whatever. I have to go. I’ll see you later. Thanks for the pep talk.” I talked so fast that I didn’t know if he understood a word of what I was saying. I didn’t wait around to find out.  
I couldn’t believe how hard I was breathing as I walked to my car. My phone rang as soon as I closed the door.  
“Anna, it’s Chuck. You want to go to lunch? My treat. Consider it an anniversary present.”  
“I didn’t know you had my number.”  
“I saved it when you called me last night. And by the way, you interrupted an exceptional dream. Rachel Bilson was just chosen to play Wonder Woman and she... Actually, I shouldn’t tell you the rest. It’s not for ladies’ ears.”  
What, lady was he talking about?  
“Well I can take a guess. Rachel Bilson? That’s so wrong. Wonder Woman was an Amazon. Hello? Linda Carter or the original comic books.”  
“We can talk about it at lunch,” he suggested.  
“Okay, where?”

  
****  
Chuck has such a nice smile. That is what I would be thinking if I was a single, available woman. It is the kind of smile that could make a girl melt. And he had absolutely no idea. I thought of this as I sat across from him at lunch. It was just an innocent observation, of course.  
“Don’t be too hard on him,” he said, pleading Morgan’s case. “You are his first real girlfriend. And you come with thoughts, and feelings, and you can be hurt, and he could mess it up,” he said in a way that made me think he was not just speaking for Morgan, but for himself, and men in general. “It’s scary for guys. He just doesn’t know how to deal.”  
“So how are you and Sarah?”  
“She’s fine. We’re fine. Everything’s fine.”  
“Let me get this right. You guys are doing fine,” I said, amused. “Morgan’s making it more complicated than it has to be. I like him. He likes me. It’s simple. No biggie.”  
“Well…Like I said, I’m sure you two will work it out.”  
“You know him better than I do.”  
He just shrugged. “I did want to ask you...” he said. Then he took a big gulp of his ice tea. “...What were you going to say earlier?”  
“Earlier? When?” I asked, stalling for time, caught off-guard that he even cared to bring it up.  
“Why do I feel like you don’t want to tell me something?” He looked determined to get it out of me.  
And he was right. I didn’t want to talk about anything that would lead to me revealing my secret.  
My thoughts went back to that time, before Morgan and my problems with him. I hid the fact that I had, at one time, a huge crush on the tall, lanky fellow sitting across from me now. I liked him because he was smart, funny, cute and an actual good guy. I went out of my way to get him to notice me as more than just a nerd herder. But it didn’t happen and then I started dating Morgan. And that was the end of that it.  
It was in the past, in a galaxy far, far away. What could go wrong if I told Chuck?  
“I’ll tell you. I was going to say earlier that actually you are perfect to me.” I had almost said perfect “for” me - oops.  
“What?” He was obviously taken aback.  
“I’m serious. You wouldn’t ignore your girlfriend after she went to the trouble of planning a romantic dinner, would you? You are...” I mentally searched for the perfect word to describe him. “…Thoughtful.”  
My mouth kept moving, I was seemingly powerless to stop it.  
“In fact, I had the biggest crush on you before I got with Morgan.”  
Oh shit! I couldn’t believe I had actually said it. I always wondered what he would say if I told him. I held my breath, mostly to stop myself from making more incriminating comments and further humiliating myself.  
“I had no idea.” He looked completely dumbfounded.  
…And that was his response. All I got from him.  
One of the waiters dropped a tray of dishes near our table, and by the time the chaos was cleaned up, the moment had passed.

  
****  
I walked into my apartment and found Morgan sitting on my couch.  
“You!” I said, a little startled. “How did you get in here?”  
“Karen said it would be okay,” he said.  
Karen was my good friend and almost roommate because she was at my house so much. I called her the sister I wish I had, who happened to be black. She normally made good decisions on my behalf, but this was not one of them.  
Words just started tumbling out of my mouth. All my frustration from the past few days spilled out onto him. Morgan just stood there and took it.  
“I deserve that,” he said, looking deflated. “Anna, I know I’ve been a complete jerk. I’ve been in Morgan World and I realized that Morgan World is nothing without its queen, Anna. I’m really sorry.” And he actually got on his knees, and pleaded. It’s amazing what good groveling can accomplish.  
So we worked things out. But something kept nagging at me. I played along in spite of it and things went fine for a while. Morgan was more attentive, in his own little way. But that nagging feeling would not leave me.

  
****  
A few weeks after Morgan and I had made up, someone put a note in my work locker. It read:  
He is not as he seems.  
If you want to know the truth meet me in the breakroom tonight, 9pm.  
I figured that the note was either some cute gesture from Morgan or I was about to be the victim of another Buy More practical joke. My curiosity was peaked enough that I showed up as instructed.  
I found the breakroom door was locked when I tried to open it. I waited for a few minutes and then I was about to leave when I heard the thud against the door. Then I heard the voices and moving around. The sound was muffled but I could make out one important thing: I female voice saying, “Morgan” over and over. A rush of adrenaline went through me as I realized what was probably happening on the other side of the door.

  
****  
I stood there trying to convince myself that I was jumping to a conclusion that would be proven false as soon as that door opened. I was waiting when it opened minutes later and out walked Morgan, nearly colliding with me, because he was in such a hurry.  
“Anna! I thought you we were meeting later?” He was obviously not happy to see me.  
“I thought I’d stop by and…”  
I began and then rushed past him. Standing there, in all her bleached blonde glory, was Carli Barnes, one of the salespeople and resident Buy More skank, putting on her shirt. Proving that she was easy in multiple ways, I threatened her once and she spilled everything to me and got the hell out of there.  
Morgan tried to talk his way out of it. “Anna, I’m sorry. It was a lapse in judgment. It’s just that since we’ve been dating my stock with the ladies has tripled,” Morgan stammered.  
“Tripled? You didn’t have any stock with the ladies.”  
“Exactly! That’s my point. Now they’re coming at me hard. She came on to me!”  
I’m blank on anything that happens after that. I do vaguely remember Casey putting The Asshole (Morgan Grimes shall henceforth be known as “The Asshole” or any other variant of such) in a headlock after I told him that The Asshole hit me (A total lie, by the way. Like that would ever happen.) Even Casey cares more about me than Morg—excuse me—The Asshole.

  
****  
If I hadn’t been depressed enough, Valentine’s Day reared its ugly, shallow, commercialized head to make it even worse. Karen wouldn’t let me stay down. She’s so selfish that way. I think my sad Anna routine had scared her and she wanted her kick-ass Anna back. She knew just what would cheer me up—karaoke. Drinking alcohol, having the license to sing cheesy songs by cheesy artists and pretending you are a rockstar – what’s not to love about karaoke? Our regular spot was a place called Friar Tuck. It was far too small and smoky, but there was no better place. It had everything you needed: decent food, good drinks, the best music selection and a good crowd.  
“That guy Ryan I told you about will meet us there,” Karen told me. “He would be perfect for you! He’s hot and a lot of fun. He’s bringing a friend with him.”  
Karen had been trying to help me by hooking me up with Ryan. And he turned out to be exactly how Karen described him, dark haired, cute, fun, but totally into her. Before long they were on stage doing “No Air.” And for a second, I thought he was going to hump her on stage.  
Ryan brought his friend Vince with him. Vince was equally attractive. He reminded me of a younger Lenny Kravitz with his cocoa skin and tattoos on his ripped arms. After we both figured out that Ryan and Karen were hooking up, we started getting to know each other.  
After my set of “Buttons,” where I did my best Pussycat Dolls impression, I nearly tripped over some dude that was blocking me from getting off the stage. I’m about to tell this jerk to move when I realize that “the jerk” was Chuck!  
“Anna. Oh My God – you were awesome!”  
I was startled to see him there.  
“What are you doing here?” I said, trying to control the big smile that was threatening to take over my face.  
“I’m meeting Ellie, Awesome and....Morgan. I guess I’m the first one here.”  
My inner smile instantly disappeared. Any mention of that Morgan person instantly changed my mood for the worse.  
“Aww...so it’s a double date. How precious. I’m glad you two are still going strong.”  
I brought Chuck over to my table and introduced him to the gang.  
“Join us!” Karen said. She not-so-secretly checked him out and gave me a wink. “So this is your man-uh-ger? You were right for once. He’s cute. And tall. I was worried after that Morgan detour you were taking.” Mental note: Remember to kill Karen later. In the meantime, I gave her a kick under the table.  
“She’s a drunk. Don’t pay attention to anything she tells you,” I told Chuck. He looked confused, and doubtful.  
I turned to Karen. “Sooo, guess who will be joining Chuck here tonight—? Senor Asshole!”  
“That’s the ex. I told you about him.” Karen explained to Ryan.  
“I invited him here a few times and he never came,” I said to Chuck.  
“And this is her secret Anna world. It is a big deal for her to invite anyone,” Karen added.  
Chuck leaned over so I could hear him over the music. I got a tingle from his face briefly brushing against my neck.  
“He missed out. You were really fantastic,” he said.  
I couldn’t believe how good his comment made me feel.  
“Thanks. All that practice with a hairbrush paid off,” I said giggling into his ear.  
I was about to ask him about Sarah (Where was she?) when Awesome, Ellie, and The Asshole, formerly known as Morgan, showed up and Chuck joined them at their own table.  
Vince did an impressive version of "I Want You to Want Me" and we flirted shamelessly all night. And even with the distraction of my ex, Karen’s mission was accomplished—I had a good time.  
At least the parts I could remember were good.  
I went from doing shots with Karen, Ryan and Vince to being in the passenger seat of a car with Chuck at the wheel.  
“Hey – you’re awake. Let me know if you have to throw up and I’ll pull over,” he said.  
But I wasn’t sure if he meant it because he was driving like a mad man. He kept looking in the rearview mirror and definitely did not look like someone willing to make a pit stop.  
“What’s going on?” I said. I didn’t recognize my voice. God, it hurt to think, to talk.  
“Karen asked me to take you home. You drank more than I’ve seen anyone drink, except maybe Jeff. Mr. Liver is going to be really mad at you one day,” he said in his rapid fire way.  
I heard a huge crash behind us. Or was it above us? At that point I couldn’t figure anything out. A few turns later and we were at my house. The simple act of getting the key in the door was difficult for me before Chuck grabbed it from my hand. He propped me on my red living room couch and then made a call. I was trying to figure out what he was so frantic about. I could tell that he was talking to Sarah.  
“She’s okay. I’ve been staying close like you guys said,” he said before his voice went too low for me to hear anymore.  
“Everything okay?” I said after he hung up.  
“Yeah. It will be,” he said, obviously distracted.  
Then he started buzzing around my kitchen and came back with a cup full of some green goop.  
“Drink this. It’s the best hangover remedy ever. It looks worse than it tastes.”  
I took a sip and it was ungodly in its foulness. “EWWW,” was all I could manage to say.  
“Well, some people think it’s not that bad. You can thank Awesome for the recipe.”  
“Yeah – I’ll be sure to do that.”  
I really was not feeling well. And everything suddenly looked like a reflection from a fun house mirror, all distorted.  
“Nice place,” Chuck said, looking around. I’m sure he expected some punk nerd hybrid instead of the colorful, yet comfortable style I had taken.  
I got up and headed down the hall for my bedroom.


	3. CHAPTER THREE

Sunlight was a cruel joke after a night of drinking. I fought to go back to sleep. Then I heard the sound of banging doors and pots in the kitchen.  
“Karen’s here and she’s making breakfast,” I thought. This was a very rare occasion. I knew that I better get in there before she changed her mind. I made a quick trip to the bathroom. I thought maybe I was still asleep when I walked into the kitchen and saw Chuck standing at my stove making scrambled eggs.  
What was Chuck doing here?  
Then it hit me—karaoke—Karen, Ryan, Vince, and Chuck driving me home. So he had stayed over from the night before? And he was cooking eggs in my kitchen. The Twilight Zone music started playing in my head.  
“Good morning, Sunshine!” Chuck said, full of perkiness, like everything was perfectly normal. He looked down right comfortable, actually. He put a cup of coffee in front of me.  
“Thanks, Chuckles,” I said, calling him the pet name I had for him. I took a sip. “Mmmm, hazelnut, extra cream...Perfect. So what happened last night?” I asked.  
“You don’t remember?”  
I shook my head to say no. “I remember karaoke and you driving me home. That’s about it. How did you know how to get here, by the way?”  
“I’ve driven Morgan over here a couple of times. How’s your head?”  
“Not too bad.”  
“It worked then. Good. Remember the hangover remedy?”  
“You could have drugged me, for all I know,” I said, yawning.  
“Let’s hope that doesn’t ever have to happen.” He laughed a little too loudly.  
He put down two plates of food and sat across from me at the breakfast bar. We were quiet for a few minutes. I wondered if it was my imagination or if he really was looking at me in an odd way? What did happen last night?  
“Thanks for cooking. It’s good. I didn’t know you could cook.”  
“Ellie wanted me to know the basics. You know, eggs, mac and cheese, the occasional chicken dish... She has been preparing me for when I live on my own. With the engagement and all it may be sooner than later.”  
“You have nothing to worry about. You guys work well together. So whatever happens I’m sure everyone will be happy,” I offered.  
“You’re probably right.”  
“Speaking of Ellie, she probably thinks I’m a lunatic after Thanksgiving. Another thing I’m choosing to blame on The Asshole.”  
“You saved my life. It’s safe to say that you’re off the hook with my sister. However, Morgan will be getting a restraining order against you after your, uh, passionate performance of “You Oughta Know”. What is it about that song that seems to unite the female population?”  
“And scare the male species. I sang that?” I said laughing.  
“You thoroughly succeeded in scaring him.”  
“Ha! Really? Good for me. He should be scared.”  
I gave myself a little pat on the back.  
“You really don’t remember anything else about last night?” Chuck asked.  
“Nope.”  
But later, more information started coming to me. The Asshole did a lame version of “Open Arms.” Devon and Ellie did “I Got You Babe” and it wasn’t as awful as it should have been. And Chuck? How could I forget his performance?  
“Oh My God! I do remember your inspiring and life changing version of “Baby Got Back”. I gave him a standing ovation at the breakfast bar. “I can appreciate a man who likes some junk in the trunk.” I love making Chuck blush. But he recovered quickly this time.  
“Thanks. And speaking of backs...After we got here you went to bed. I slept on the couch. And that’s about it.” He got up and put his plate in the sink. “Except for the me seeing you completely naked part.”  
I nearly spilled my coffee. “The who, saw what?!”  
“You know, let’s not even talk about it...”  
“Chuck.” I said firmly.  
“I was only trying to help.”  
“Okay. I have no clue – please just fill in the blanks for me.”  
“Well, I turned my back for a minute and I find you lying in the hallway in your underwear,” he explained.  
At least someone saw the pink and red lace lingerie that I had worn in honor of Valentine’s Day.  
He continued, “So I get you into your room and under the covers, and I leave. Later I go in to check on you and you were...in the buff, and you kept talking about monkeys. Finally, I figured out that you wanted the monkey pants that were on the chair.”  
“Monkey pants? Oh, you mean these?” I said pointing to the red pajama bottoms that I was wearing that featured dancing monkeys. It was capped off with a black tank top. “Well, they are my favorite.”  
Chuck was way more bothered than I was.  
Did I shave yesterday?  
Yes, I did, I remembered. Thank God for small favors.  
“Nothing happened.” He assured me.  
“Well, good,” I should have been relieved but I felt strangely disappointed. I didn’t know why at the time.  
“I appreciate you being such a decent guy about everything. Thanks for taking care of me.”  
“Anytime,” he said quickly. “Well, not that I expect that to happen on a regular basis,” he stammered though he seemed relieved. I guess he didn’t know how I would react.  
“You know, I don’t feel too good. I think I should go sleep it off. Thanks for breakfast.” I went to plant a kiss on his cheek but misjudged and got him right on the lips instead. I was going to apologize but ended up just saying, “Thanks again.”  
Then I went to my room, got into bed, and tried to figure out why I felt so giddy.

  
****  
The Buy More gang was seeing me off in classic style; with “Congratulations” signs, balloons and spiked punch.  
The job offer had been a total surprise to me. I had applied months ago and just out of curiosity. The NBC (Nailed By A Chick) is a professional all-female gamer group that competes in video game tournaments around the US and in the UK. The goal is to prove that women could game just as well as guys. Unfortunately, they got a lot of flack from men and woman and were dismissed as just “booth babes” (models who were picked for their looks but could not actually play worth a damn).  
My US group was kicking butt at various competitions. Our sister group in The UK was not doing as well. So they were putting together a team to travel there and help out.  
It was perfect timing. I needed a change and being paid to travel and play video games sounded pretty damn good to me. Though I had not been looking forward to explaining it to my parents.  
The previous few weeks had been interesting. I had not only managed to ignore Morg—Senor Asshole at work, but had also been avoiding Chuck, as nearly impossible as that was. But now there was nowhere to hide.  
“So Anna, I get my chance with you when you come back, right?” Jeff had been saying.  
“Do you really want me to answer that?” I said with a smile. “And no,” I said quickly to Lester before he could repeat Jeff’s question.  
Then I see Chuck heading my way.  
You care what he thinks of you.  
No, I don’t. I’m just a little confused.  
No you’re not. You know exactly what’s going on. You’re just in denial.  
Okay, he’s sweet and I appreciate what he did.  
Maybe he’s too sweet. He needs a little spice in his life.  
Hello, he has a girlfriend. And having feelings for my ex-boyfriend’s best friend would not be smart.  
You mean the guy who cheated on you and treated you like crap? Yep, you owe him a lot.  
“Oh just shut up,” I said out loud.  
“But I didn’t say anything.”  
I snapped out of the mental war I was having with myself to find Chuck staring at me.  
“Hey, are okay?” he asked, looking worried.  
“I’m fine. I’m good.”  
“You don’t seem like yourself lately.”  
I don’t know if it had been his worried look or the tone of his voice or his puppy dog eyes, but I was ready to spill.  
“Could I talk to you?”  
“Sure. What’s up?”  
“Here’s my problem, I’m still a little embarrassed about going all Victoria’s Secret Model on you,” I said.  
“Is there anything I can do?” he asked.  
“Well, it’s not the actual seeing me naked part I’m upset about at this point. I’ve been having these silly and irrational thoughts questioning why you didn’t hit on me,” I explained.  
“What? Really?” He said, obviously flustered.  
“Mmmhmm...”  
“Well, there’s the Morgan factor and let’s not forget that you were totally out of it. I wouldn’t take advantage of anyone in that state.”  
“I told you it was silly...” I said. “What if I had been Sarah?” I added quickly.  
“If I had sex with you and Sarah I would want you to be awake and you know, conscious,” he said, not realizing that he had probably just proposed a threesome (Or revealed a fantasy, perhaps? Hmmm...).  
“If you had sex with Sarah?” I asked.  
“You and Sarah are back together?” The Asshole asked Chuck, appearing out of nowhere.  
“Back together?” I asked, looking from him to Chuck.  
“We broke up. That’s why the gang took me out for karaoke that night, to cheer me up.”  
“So what’s up with you two here?” The Asshole asked.  
“Nothing. We were just having a little small talk,” Chuck said quickly and I nodded in agreement.  
“Actually, I’m glad I have you two together. I have something important to say that concerns both of you,” Mr. Asshole said and then turned to me. “Anna, just because you hate me doesn’t mean that you have to take it out on my man Chuck here.”  
“What are you talking about Morgan?” I said calmly, in spite of my growing need to punch him in the face.  
“Come on, I see everything,” he told me waving two fingers in front of his eyes. “You could cut the tension here with a Ginsu.”  
“I think there’s more grape soda by the punch bowl,” I said, trying to get him to leave.  
“You know what I like, don’t cha? I will be back,” he said, hurrying away.  
I turned back to Chuck when The Asshole was safely out of earshot. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know. You talked to Sarah while you were at my house.  
“We’re still friends” he said evenly. Then he looked like he was freaking out. “Did you hear what was said?”  
“No. I just heard you say her name. I was too wasted to make out anything else. Not that I was trying to...” I added lamely, feeling a little guilty because I heard something that I couldn’t remember at that point. The alcohol must have pickled my memory cells.  
“So why did you break up?”  
“It’s...complicated,” he said. I could tell that it was hard for him to talk about it. “So are we okay? Friends?” He asked. “I don’t want any awkwardness because of what happened that night...or because of Morgan. And he apparently agrees with me.”  
We looked over to see Morgan raising a grape soda filled cup to us.  
“He doesn’t know, does he?” I said.  
“Know what?”  
“The fact that I hung out...” I shook my chest towards him. “...With you that night?”  
“No, I didn’t,” he said, grabbing my shoulders gently to stop my little shimmy.  
“Everything okay over here?” Casey said, apparently having just witnessed our little scene.  
I turned to him. “You know what? I’m so rude. I still haven’t thanked you for “rescuing” me from Morgan with that headlock. That was really sweet of you.” I felt a little silly calling Casey “sweet,” but I meant it. “And just for the record he actually didn’t hit me. I just wanted to get back at him.”  
“It was my pleasure,” he said with a smile (yeah – I made Mr. Serious smile). “And I figured that out pretty fast. From what I’ve seen I think you can handle yourself.”

 


End file.
